No MS'n around

It's snowing today and with the anticipation of it being pretty crappy MGH decided to cancel my MRI and instead schedule it for tomorrow. Now instead of napping inside of an extremely loud machine that sounds like there is a CD that's skipping continuously for 2 hours I can take naps on my own couch in my "quiet" apartment because I have a snow day.


Back in August I got my first MRI, I didn't really think much about it because I wasn't prepared for it. If you have never had an MRI before let me lay it out for you.  You lay on this tiny table and go inside a machine. It sounds like there is excessive banging while you're in there. Something like a CD that skips mixed with a small child banging every pot and pan in their house. How do you manage to lay inside of a small machine for an excessive amount of time? Shut you eyes and pray. At least that's what I did.


 Back in the summer I went to meet our priest so he would marry us in the Catholic Church.  Ted told me I needed to be honest with him, so I told him how my dad had died, my mom had MS. He told me that I probably lost my faith and he was right, I did. Maybe you don't believe in god, I don't really care what you believe in. That doesn't matter. I still don't really know still my emotions but I believe there is a plan for everyone.


One of the first things that crossed my mind when I got diagnosed was HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?


Well, bad things happen to people all the time.  So here is my idea on how I got MS.


 *Disclaimer*
Call my crazy, call me whatever you want but this is my explanation. Also, it's good to know I have a sixth sense.


I had this dream after my dad died. It happened weeks later when I went back to school. My dad came to me in this dream and told me he was sorry it took so long to visit me. He said he had a lot of people to see. This was 7 years ago and I remember it because we all need something to hold on to, something to help us get through things.  After being diagnosed, I was convinced he had something to do with this. I believe that wherever he is, he was given a choice. He had to give someone something who can handle it, and give them something that will help other people as well.  I am convinced that he gave me this disease, but with good reason.


A few days before the MS diagnosis I began looking for a new job. After spending the majority of my adult life working retail, I was worn out. I really needed a change and needed to get out from a "toxic" environment. I wasn't happy where I was. I was watching my back all day, everyday.  So I applied for jobs. Five days later I lay in MGH and get a phone call asking me to come in for an interview. I'm sure my close friends and family thought I was nuts, planning my escape route from my job the same time as learning I had this diseases. But I needed I out.


I told anyone that would listen and understand that my dad was given a choice. He had to give me MS, but he would help me get out. There was no way he was going to give me this crappy disease and leave me in this exhausting job. Nearly three months later I got out. I got a new job, left quicker than I would have planned, but in the end I got the short end of the stick, so screw it.


For the most part I forget about that I have MS. When I cut gluten and sugars from my food I feel better. My hands become less painful and I don't see the flare ups as much as I usually do. A lot of people will tell you that changing what you eat, won't change things. But for me it did. I decided that I would do whatever it took to ward off symptoms. Back in October I was at my moms house and my little 8 year old friend asked me to skip with her, I tired, but I couldn't. Here I was a 28 year old who couldn't skip. Would I be able to Irish dance at my own wedding, who knew because back then I certainly couldn't do a jig.  I decided to practice because there was no way in hell that wasn't going to happen.  I would run because I could, I would dance because I didn't know how long I would be able to do, and I would skip with an 8 year old as long as she would ask me to. For me, much like my dad I was given a choice and I knew for me there would be no MS'n around.


Letter from the Editor:
I've heard from people I haven't in years. I've also heard from people that I didn't have strong  relationships with but who have had a relationship with MS. Thank you for reaching out to me and sharing your story and your feelings. Thank you for reminding me why I need to keep at this blog. When you all read this you're escaping from your life, but when I write about it I am letting you into mine.


  Who else has MS: Jack Osbourne. He has a cool blog, so you could check that out http://www.youdontknowjackaboutms.com/. He also danced on Dancing with the Stars so that's pretty cool too.