Happy Anniversary... I got you on my mind

Today would be my parents 30th Wedding Anniversary.  Sadly after 24 good years of marriage my dad passed away and my mom was left a widow. I’m sure if my dad was around he wouldn’t want a party, they never celebrated it much at least from what I knew. But in today’s age 30 years is a long time to be married.

In most wedding vows, we commit to loving one another through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, through good times and the bad.   These vows themselves could not be more true for my parents. After being married for nearly 3 years they were blessed with me. This got me thinking a lot about where I am at the age of 27. My mom was married when she was 30 and had me right before her 33 birthday. She’s always said that she was glad she had all this time to travel and do things for her. She worked hard and enjoyed her life. My dad stopped working when I was born to care for me. He gave up a job he loved and one he shared with his family to care for his new family. This is the ultimate gift that my parents could ever give me. They taught me the value of a family and time. My dad never complained that he had to stop working he was happy to have all this time with us. They never complained that they had only one salary to care for a family of four, the complaints were nonexistent. It was a sacrifice they made for us, their kids.

 At age 30, my mom never cared how old she was when she got married; she wasn’t comparing herself to all of her friends or in a rush to get on with life. Instead she was enjoying the rid  I can’t say that we’re the same in that retrospect. I am always looking at what everyone is doing, trying to keep up with the soon to be Jones’ or the even the Kardashian’s. Even though we have our difference of opinions on life that’s ok. She always taught me that having your own opinion makes for good conversation and to follow your heart. Her advice on love was that you would know it was real when it was right.  Which brings me to my toast. (*You know the toast I would make if there was an actual party).

 My mom and dad went through good times and bad just as anyone does but they’ve certainly had their share of sickness and health. My dad got cancer when I was 3 and my mom cared for him and stood by his side and did anything a good wife would do. Then when I was in high school my mom got diagnosed with MS ( Multiple Sclerosis) . This disease took away her ability to walk. She uses a walker, but also relies on a wheelchair. It also made her give up a job she loved for over 25 years.  Through sickness and health my parents saw each other through everything. They always supported one another and hated on the fact that these disease’s were awful and would try to ruin a family. 

The cancer left and we stayed together. The MS remained but we conquered it. We figured out a lifestyle that would allow us to be comfortable and happy and tolerant to this disease. Of course there are days that we cry that we are alone without my dad, and sad that people don’t keep in touch nearly as much as they used to when he was around. We get angry that we can’t do things without the support of one another, and we (I) yell when the pain is intolerable.

But in the end LOVE conquers all. We are still a family. And while my dad isn’t here to celebrate his 30th wedding anniversary, the rest of us can celebrate for him. For if it wasn’t for falling in love my mom never would have had the gift of love that keeps on giving her the strength she needs to get up and go on.

I hope that my jealousy comes to a halt and that years from now I can look back and see how foolish I am.  I will realize that what’s important in the end of your life is the time you had and spent with other people. That’s what adds value to your life. Not the sickness, but the health, not the money but the time.

The time will always matter more, because I can promise you this when you’re at your wits end and you need one more thing in your day it will most always be TIME.